Hometown Hunnies

Family, friends, food, and fucking... the four f's of holiday homecoming. IM KIDDING!! But really, hometown hunnies are definitely something to look forward to, especially for those freshman who will be experiencing their first post hiatus hook up.

There's a range of options when dealing with the "home again, bone again" mind set. (purely for the sake of rhyming here people don't get flustered)

There's the hometown boyfriend who doesn't know about his counterpart, the college boyfriend. This is a tricky one. It's the best option because you know he'll be waiting for you, but the worst option morally speaking. I'll leave discretion up to the double dipper.

There's the ex boyfriend that you cut ties with once college started. Coming home to this gem would look similar to the hometown boyfriend situation but with more arguing.

There's the chronic booty call you had in high school. You consider this option, knowingly or subconsciously, because we all need that "in case of emergency."

Then there's my favorite category. For those kids who didn't really "do" high school... you had two part time jobs, you were still working through your awkward phase, you thought you were better than everyone... going home is given a different perspective.

You get to hook up with the football captain you always thought was cute in high school, but never pursued because ...who wants to be that cliche?

Or maybe you were that awkward gangly guy in high school. However in college you found beer, the gym, and easy freshman girls to sky rocket your confidence. You come home and run into the "Stacy." This is the girl you spent freshman, sophomore, junior AND senior year lusting after. The same girl who never took the time to realize your name was Justin, not Jerry, and you never had the balls to correct her. However, college Justin is built, confident, and has a swagger only a college freshman could swing. The holidays are a time for the Justin's across the US to shine, and regain the respect they lost in high school. They hook up with the Stacy's and don't call them afterward.

Partially joking, unless the "Stacy" ridiculed you in high school and ultimate revenge is deserved, you should give her a jingle the next day.