The Friend Zone

The friend zone: a dark dreadful place, or the holy land used by females everywhere to place boys that can’t take a hint. For arguments sake I’ll have to advocate for the latter. I understand that, as a girl, I’m privileged enough to dictate who enters and exits the friend zone. Because, lets be honest, guys love having girls as friends, but if the girls willing, the guys game. I do feel bad for the guys who are either oblivious to their placement in the zone, or who are determined to “be the exception.” For that reason I’ve devised red flag warning signs that you boys should be on the look out for, and ways to turn your pathetic plight into a salvageable salvation.

Lets start with the obvious signs:

1. If you’re confused because this girl talks to you on facebook chat but doesn’t answer your calls, texts, or even seem interested in being in your presence… you’re in the friend zone
2. If you learn in to kiss this girl and she turns her cheek, you’re in the friend zone. (If she screams then you’re actually in the creeper zone and should feel ashamed.)
3. If this girl talks about liking and/or hooking up with other boys in front of you… you’re either in the friend zone or this girl is a open to multiple hook ups and the friend zone might also be known as friends with benefits.

The decline:

The decline is a warning zone all boys should be on the look out for. If you catch yourself in the decline soon enough you might be able to save your situation. Boys, the decline commences when the girl starts to distance herself from you. It’s called the decline because her interest in you is declining. Many things could factor into the decline. It could be another boy, the way you kiss, or a family problem that has nothing to do with you. This is why you have a few golden days to USE THIS TIME TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! Read closely.

Do. Not. Panic. :: If the girl is pulling away from you do not go into panic mode and freak out, this will only further your decline and possibly sent you into creeper zone.

Do. Not. Pester. :: If she’s not answering your texts or calls, receiving an abundance of messages will not persuade her to answer. This will only agitate her and make it obvious that you are the only one making an effort for contact (aka looking desperate for attention.)

Do. Not. Perform. :: Do not go out of your way to “appear awesome” to this girl. If you’re on the decline don’t think that you’ll be able to fix the situation by giving 110% to promoting yourself and your stellar qualities. If you’re on the decline this will only appear forced and make you look like a douche.

Recovery:

To save the developing relationship, and your dignity, give the girl some space. If she’s distancing herself from you that means she is being overwhelmed by your presence. So going after her more aggressively will not fix this. Let her come to you. Girls in this day and age go after what they want, if she wants you she will come around. BUT! You have to let her realize that she misses you. If you’re always around then she can’t realize what she has to loose. Once she starts pulling away, let her drift. You might have messed up enough to make her go astray, but if you’re a gem then you’ve left her with a adequate set of good times; enough to make her realize her mistake and come back for more.