Gratitude v. Frattitude

When fratties turn into fathers, excuses turn into emotions, and playing with his PS2 turns into dealing with PMS, you know your boy has turned into a man. It’s not all about throwing away your raunchy jokes and “boy’s night out;” it’s about switching cognition from your penis to your brain.

For example:

Every guy wants to fool around. At 15, they’re longing for Jenna Jameson to jack them off, instead of her glossy centerfold, aided by their own right hand; at 25, they’re still trying to grab at your vagina through your jeans. To know whether or not you’re wasting your time with a toddler who has absolutely no tricks up his sleeve, look for these telltale signs:

If you’re cuddling with your guy, whether it be watching a movie in your bed, or watching the game on your couch, run a little experiment to see which head he’s using. While the movie is getting intense or the game is just getting good, initiate TSK (touching, stroking, kissing). Your guy will notice you’re beginning to stroke his face, kiss his neck, or touch his joystick; it’s what he does with this red flag that indicates his intuitive age.

A boy will sacrifice the greater good and settle for the cuddle compromise. He won’t get up from watching his game just to see if you’re really in the mood for something more. However, a man will take the initiative, with his wise years of experience and intuitive know-how, he’ll know the advantage of capitalizing on this opportunity. If you want something straight out of a storybook, he’ll scoop you up and whisk you away into the bedroom for a power hour of playtime. If you want reality, he’ll probably just get down to business when and where you both are.

The biggest difference between boys and men is their motivation. Boys are motivated by vagina and instant gratification, the thrill of the chase and the freedom of no responsibility. If your boy is watching a football game and you’re trying to fool around, your needs are put on the back burner while his football fetish remains top priority. Boys don’t understand the concept of brownie points. Men, on the other hand, are fueled by the capture of a goal, a love for women, and the rewards that come with responsibility. Men understand that women are needy and manipulative – they’ve seen the dark side and learned how to battle it. So, they see our sexual seduction during Monday Night Football for what it really is: a test. A test, if scored well on, that will reward them in more ways than one. Men do the work because they understand and appreciate the benefits of: GRATITUDE. Boys can be lazy, because they’re capitalizing on a phenomenon that exists in college, and that usually ends up rewarding them either way: FRATITUDE.